2 posts tagged “emotion rucksack”

September has ended. And we're inching towards Christmas! Yehey!

I sound like a little brat excited for Christmas. It's still my favorite holiday, despite the no-Christmas-break of the labor force. I still get to spend the day with my family, and everyone loads up their phone credits just to stay connected with friends and greet them a merry Christmas. So December isn't that bad. And I can file a vacation leave if I want to, which I probably will do.

It's crunch time at work, but I just made a, umm, lifestyle change last week. Haha. I hope it'll help me keep my sanity.

'The magic stays with you.'
I haven't been writing freely on this blog for a number of reasons, the topmost reason of which is my mind is on other things. I've been busy with work. I've been busy with everything else there is to be busy about.

I haven't even opened the two books I got for my birthday, but I've been reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone before sleep. And when the lights are out and I still couldn't get to bed, I read the Deathly Hallows ebook, which I saved in my phone (G was right. E-books do have an advantage. Hehe.).

Other things
I finally bought a new phone last July. I didn't do anything significant in August. I made a decision last September.
This month, I can't believe I wrote about this and I'm looking forward to that second-year anniversary! :-)

I just turned 23 last Wednesday. A lot of my office friends asked me if I was going home to Laguna or if I have a dinner date with family on the special day.

Special day. Hmm, not the words I would normally describe my birthday. (Hindi naman holiday eh. Haha.) I normally wait for the weekend to spend it with family. And if I remember correctly, the last time I spent my birthday at home and with family was in 2004, when my birthday fell on a weekend. The years that followed brought me somewhere away from home, but it's not really a biggie. I've been spending birthdays away from home since college, and as I said, it's not really special. It's just a commemoration that I'm still alive, thank God. We can pick any day in the calendar to celebrate life, so why is a person's birthday extra special? I thought.

I guess I gave too little value to birthdays that I woke up one morning last week, suddenly feeling that I'm very lucky to be alive.

A few days before my birthday, I had a terrible dream. I assumed that the dream was just an expression of fear or anxiety embedded (ano ba yan? embedded, reminds me of systems and tear down. eew, geek!) in my subconscious self. What's weird is that just a month ago, my mind wandered into those thoughts--death and life after death--and then concluded that it won't be that bad to die young (knock on wood). My friend and I once talked about it when we were in college. We were 19 then, and she said it wouldn't be too bad for her to die at that age. I protested, knocked on wood and panicked. Neither of us should die! I thought, and told her that we shouldn't be considering early retirement from life. She agreed, but she still insisted that it wouldn't be too bad. She's doing well today, thank you very much. A bit busy with volunteer work, but I hope to do some catching up with her.

Back to that morning. I woke up because I thought I was dead. Haha. Ang labo. I really don't want to spill the details, but that's just all I can publicly share.

Fortunately, I'm still alive to tell you a bit about the funny dream. And fortunately, I'm still alive. And I turned 23. :-)

My world has been revolving around work, plans for the near- and long-term, and working about my finances that I've forgotten to stay in touch with the present and with life's real treasures (i.e. eight-hour sleep. hehe, joke lang).

I learned my lesson. I won't underestimate the value of birthdays. I swear. I realized that birthdays are special, because life is a special present. We don't have nine lives or unlimited lives like those in computer games. We only have one, unless you believe in reincarnation. Or to better state it, every lifetime is a special present.